INVESTIGATIVE JOURNALISM IS DONE
Growing concerns over that the Swiss SuperCOLLIDER might cause a nuclear melt-down, or even worse, an anti-matter EXTINCTION Event, have left the $44 Billion project EXPOSED. A recently received radio transmission from the long-lost MARINER planetary explorer spacecraft has scientists puzzled:
Previous oColliAder Equation: BKNT =(hq00
Intelligence expert Crispin Black on why sex games feature in so many spy deaths -- May 5 2012
Perhaps 'BLACK' - Definitely NOT Funny...
|BlackVOTE-HUMOR - Perhaps 'Black' - Definitely NOT Funny...|
BlackNET - The GAME - ProtoTYPE II
Went down this morning to Centrelink to sign my Dog on welfare.
The woman said "Dogs are not eligible to draw benefit". I explained to her that my Dog is black, unemployed, idle, can't speak English and has no clue who his dad is.
She looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify.
He gets his first cheque on Friday.
Damn this is a great country.
A friend just started his own business in Afghanistan.
He's making land mines that look like prayer mats.
It's doing well.
He says prophets are going through the roof!
BY KARIM SADJADPOUR
You have two cows with endless reserves of milk. Gorge them with grass, prevent them from interacting with bulls, and import South Asians to milk them.
You have two cows. You interrogate them until they concede they are Zionist agents. You send their milk to southern Lebanon and Gaza, or render it into highly enriched cream. International sanctions prevent your milk from being bought on the open market.
You have five cows, one of whom is an Alawite. Feed the Alawite cow well; beat the non-Alawite cows. Use the milk to finance your wife's shopping sprees in London.
You have two cows. Syria claims ownership over them. You take them abroad and start successful cattle farms in Africa, Australia, and Latin America. You send the proceeds back home so your relatives can afford cosmetic surgery and Mercedes-Benzes.
You have no cows. During breaks from milking on the teat of the Iranian cow you call for Israel's annihilation.
You have three cows: one Sunni, one Shiite, and one Kurd. The first is milked by Saudi Arabia, the second by Iran, and the third smuggles its milk abroad. The United States picks up the manure.
You have three cows: two Shiites and one Sunni. Invite Saudi Arabia to come kill a Shiite cow and import another Sunni cow.
You have two cows. Feed them khat instead of grass and neglect to milk them. Watch them fight each other.
You have 10 cows. Neglect to tend to them, but prevent them from fighting Israel in order to get milk from America.
You have 10 cows who think they now own the farm. There's still no milk.
You have two cows. Beat them regularly and use the milk money for your wife's shopping sprees in Paris. When the cows revolt, retire to Saudi Arabia.
See post-Mubarak Egypt.
You have two cows. You wish they were camels. Feed them only your words of wisdom and kill them if they dare moo.
You have two cows and one sheep. You claim that the sheep is really a "mountain cow."
You have one cow that has hundreds of udders. You use the limitless milk money to set up a television channel that broadcasts the other cows in the region being milked (except Saudi Arabia's).
You have two cows. You bring in Filipino nannies, South Asian laborers, and Russian prostitutes to make sure they're well taken care of. Sell the milk to build the world's biggest shopping mall.
You have one cow, surrounded by wolves. Pretend that it's a magic cow that has the power to pacify wild animals, and then ask America for milk.
You had two cows that were lost decades ago. Lament them.
You have two bulls. Pretend they are helpless calves.
Pakistani Intelligence Announces Its Full Cooperation With U.S. Forces During Upcoming Top Secret June 12 Drone Strike On Al-Qaeda At 5:23 A.M. Near Small Town Of Razmani In North Waziristan
ISLAMABAD—Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence agency restated Thursday its commitment to the fight against terrorism, pledging full cooperation with U.S. forces during the upcoming strike on an al-Qaeda safe house on June 12 at 5:23 a.m. near the small town of Razmani in the remote tribal region of North Waziristan.
1. The Wall St Journal is read by the people who run the country.
2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.
3. The NY Times is read by people who think they should run the country, & who are very good at crossword puzzles.
4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The NY Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.
5. The LA Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country, if they could find the time -- & if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.
6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country.
7. The NY Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country & don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.
8. The NY Post is read by people who don't care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.
9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.
10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.
11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.
12. The Portland Oregonian is read by people who have recently caught a fish & need something to wrap it in.
Rate Of Uninformed Conversations About Navy SEALs Skyrockets
“Since last week, the number of people who have incorrectly stated that all SEAL members must do 300 pull-ups in a minute, earn advanced calculus degrees from MIT, and be able to hold their breath underwater for an hour, has been extraordinarily high,” said Pentagon press secretary Geoff Morrell, adding that the comment, “I heard you need to be able shoot a quarter from a mile away after running for four hours straight,” has been idiotically uttered in more than 65 percent of discussions related to the military operation.
Morrell added that current enlistment numbers couldn’t possibly account for the number of Americans claiming they have an uncle in the Navy SEALs.
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is? BASKETBALL.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is? FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is? BASEBALL.
The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS. And....
6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is? GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
…There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!
His answer was classic Schwartzkopf. He said, "I believe that forgiving them is God's function. Our job is simply to arrange the meeting."
FACEBOOK: U.S. Navy SEAL & SWCC Page
Janette Mary 5-2-11 -- 9PM
[Information contained in BKNT E-mail is considered Attorney-Client and Attorney Work Product privileged, copyrighted and confidential. Views that may be expressed are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily reflect those of any government, agency, or news organization.]
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up
The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said, "So why are you
The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the
curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I
pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what's the vet going to do?
"Gonna cut my nuts off "came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon
it'll calm me down.
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "Why are you here?"
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and
trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the
carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in
my owners' couch."
"So what are they going to do to you?" the Yellow Lab inquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the
cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything
I see. Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back
and started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's
nuts off for you too, huh?
The Great Dane said, "No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped!"
One winter morning a husband and wife in Cornerbrook were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today..
You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through." So the good wife went out and moved her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through." The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.
You must park....." Then the electric power went out. The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "Honey, I don't know what to do.
Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice, that all men who are married to GOOD Newfoundland WOMEN exhibit, the husband replied,
"Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
|Yikes...thought Hawaii was Christian?|